


Green Clad Mask

by 1AristeccentricEndor



Category: Super Paper Mario (Game)
Genre: Dimentio is an immature little kid, Dimentio stop stealing Mimi's diary, Gen, Hypnosis, Light plot but mostly just Count Bleck's minions doing their thing, Luigi is Mr. L but without memories or inhibitions, Mostly Fluff, Mr. L is a dork, Mr. L stop reading Mimi's stolen diary, Nastasia is basically the mom of the group, until he's not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2018-10-24 21:18:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10750017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1AristeccentricEndor/pseuds/1AristeccentricEndor
Summary: What happens to Luigi when Nastasia hypnotizes him to become the infamous Mysterious Mr. L? Follow Mr. L on his never ending quest to become Count Bleck's most promising minion, mini adventures, and shenanigans as he quickly bonds with the rest of the gang.But if given the choice, would Luigi choose to join Mario and save the world, or stay as the charming eccentric Mr. L and join the gang who make him feel like he truly belongs?This isn't planned to be very plot oriented at first and follows a loose SPM timeline. It's just a bonding experience for the characters. But this is all going to change soon..





	1. Chapter 1

   Nastasia lifted one side of her glasses that revealed a white eye with a brown pupil surrounded by a red ring. The light bounced off her glasses, seemingly from nowhere, blinding Luigi. He found himself unable to close his eyes though, and his vision warped white from the light as he stared into the tiny secretary's eyes. Then she adjusted her glasses back onto her face and Luigi blinked in confusion, looking around. It seemed as if they were both transported to some sort of alternate dimension. Everything was pitch black around them. He tried to move up, but found himself restricted by the darkened silhouettes of the others in Bowser’s army holding him down. He looked back up at Nastasia, shaking slightly. “W-Where are we..?” He asked fearfully. Nastasia pushed her glasses up her nose. “Don’t panic, K? We’re inside your head. This is usually what it’s like when I hypnotize people, only it’s in a fraction of a second. So this is gonna be really quick.”

  
   The confused plumber wiggled in place, but couldn’t seem to shake off the silhouettes of his holders. “Why are you doing this?” Nastasia didn’t seem to respond immediately, only turning away and holding up her hand. “The Count wants you because you’re part of an important prophecy to destroy worlds. And we need you to be with us willingly, so we can’t just keep you in a dirty prison. That wouldn’t be the best course of action in our current situation.” Her hand pressed onto what was seemingly empty space and a light shone from it, revealing rapidly switching memories of all of Luigi’s adventures. “See, this is the beauty of hypnosis. It’s not just waving my glasses, boom you’re mind controlled..there’s something behind all that; me trying to figure out your mind and smooth out any kinks in less than a second. It can be trying at times, especially with some people’s minds being so guarded, but there’s always that satisfying click when you finally get through to them and all the puzzle pieces fit together.”

  
   She turned her head to the side to glance at Luigi’s reaction, finding him absorbed at the flashing memories. She waved a hand and they split into three. “Wow, but your mind is really easy to manipulate. You’re just..letting me have access to all these memories..I wonder why it’s so easy..” She paused at stared at the rapidly switching memories with expressionless interest. Suddenly, she reached out and took one of the lights, forming it into a ball, her eyebrow peaked slightly. “Oh, now this is new..” She murmured, standing in front of Luigi. The ball expanded into an oval, replaying his memories.

  
   “I remember when Mario and I found that stray Goomba and healed its injured foot..” Luigi murmured, recognizing one of them. “And then Mario went off and bragged to anyone who listened about how he did it himself, giving you no credit.” Nastasia countered. Luigi quickly shook his head, distressed by that. “No, that isn’t true! Mario always said that I helped. And I did help, so he was telling the truth!”

  
   “Yes, but did he ever mention that you were the one who found the Goomba, comforted it, and helped it get back to the other Goombas?” “I could never have done the bandages right.” Luigi insisted firmly, trying to push himself up, but could barely squirm in place. “Mario is the one who actually healed it.” Nastasia smiled. It was a neutral one, with just the slight curve of her lips, but it softened her expression just a bit before falling back into none again. “I think..” She mused for a moment, tapping her chin thoughtfully. Luigi watched in fearful wonder as the ball of light split into two memories, then four, then eight, then sixteen, little bubbles of memories filling up the empty darkness as Nastasia thought. “I see now..” She adjusted her glasses again and looked down at Luigi, her hands behind her back.

  
   “You’re clever than I initially thought..Mr..what was your name again? It started with an L, I’m sure..no matter. I never took you as the kind to subconsciously shove all these little memories into the back of your mind.” She held a small memory in the palm of her hand. “In retrospect, it should’ve been obvious, but I never deemed you to be the type. Yet all the pieces connect and give you that click I always look for. Your brother taking all the credit, the Kingdom under his thumb while you’re forever trapped as his Player 2, his natural charm. It doesn’t bode well with you. You’re a competitive person, aren’t you, Mr. L?”

  
   Luigi felt himself shaking slightly, knowing in his mind that none of what she was saying was true. Mario and he were as close as brothers could be and Luigi was happy to be there by his side. Fame and glory were never something that appealed to him and he never had a problem with his brother taking the spotlight. And yet….

  
   “Well, now I’ve got it figured out, we’ll just need some adjustments.” Nastasia walked up to Luigi, who shrunk in fear as much as he could, and gently touched his forehead. “We can’t exactly have you remembering them, but a total memory wipe is like, really bad, so I’ll just confuse you a bit.” At that, Luigi recoiled as if he were in pain, but nothing seemed to have happened. “You’ll also need to get over those suppressed inhibitions of yours, but that’s pretty easy since I already kind of drew them out for you. You’re welcome.”

  
   The green man stared up at her reflective glasses at himself, revealing wide and frightened watery blue eyes. He felt the sting of a tear in the corner of his eye and a lump in his throat. “I..I don’t want to forget Mario.. I don't want to forget anyone.. I don't want to destroy worlds.” He half-whispered, his voice cracking at the end. Nastasia looked him straight in the eyes, doubtful for a moment. “Don't worry about the whole world destroying thing, the Count’s really not that bad of a guy. He needs you. It has to happen. You’ll thank me later, trust me.” She reassured him solemnly. “The hardest part is usually changing your personality. Well, inhibitions, doubts, roadblocks, etcetera, etcetera I don’t want to get into the details. But hopefully that just happened. Oh yeah, you’ll also be completely devoted to Count Bleck, I hope you don’t have a problem with that.” She clapped her hands twice.  
Luigi glanced around, confused and still panicked, but nothing seemed to have happened. Nastasia drew back and straightened up as if satisfied with what she had done. “Well, that’s probably a fourth of a second or something. See you later, Mr. L.”

* * *

 

   The green plumber awoke with a start, still held down by the Goomba traitors and the winged turtle in the dark castle. He blinked up at them, annoyed, and shoved himself away from them with surprising strength. He felt..different. A feeling that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but something that felt like an itch in the back of his mind. Still like himself, although not himself. He wondered vaguely how he got into this situation, but for some reason didn’t care all that much. He could still think freely of course, but he felt like he was completely focused in the now and he felt great about it. Nastasia stood in front of him, her face unchanged. “How are you feeling..erm..Mister..?”

  
   “Luigi.” He replied quickly, saying the first thought that popped in his mind. “But you can just call me Mr. L It's better; has more flair and mystery!.” He held his fist up dramatically, grinning boldly at the pink-haired secretary. “Alright, Mr. L. You need to come with me to meet Count Bleck.”  
Mr. L’s eyes lit up and he clasped his hands. “Oh, I’ve always wanted to meet him!” He said excitedly. “I’ve looked up to him since..” He paused, blinking before continuing. “Since forever!”

  
   Nastasia smiled slightly again. “That’s good to hear. Come with me then, we’re a small evil-doing group, but we do get the job done.”  
She started to walk down the hall and Mr. L followed in strides.

 

   “Oh ho ho, who do we have here?” A voice piped up above them as Natasia closed the castle doors. A strange figure popped out of nowhere with a colorful burst of purple fireworks and floated in front of Mr. L, examining him. It looked like it wore a jester’s outfit and a permanently smiling mask, one half white the other half black. The diamond bells on its head jingled as he tilted his head in mocking curiosity. Mr. L leaned away in surprise, caught off guard. Nastasia sighed.

  
   “Dimentio, this is Mr. L. He’s part of our crew now, he’s gonna be a henchman for the Count.” She answered in a monotone voice. Dimentio clapped his hands a little, his expression unchanged, but his mouth matching his words. “Really? How exciting! I’m charmed to work with you, Mr. L, simply charmed! Like an audience that has just witnessed the magician pull a bunny out of his hat!”

  
   Mr. L straightened and smiled widely. The people here actually were excited that he was here? Well, of course they were! How could they not be? The smile bend at the corners, turning it into a subtle sneer. “I’m excited to work with you too.”

  
   “I am Dimentio, if you haven’t heard of me already, pleaser of crowds, all that excitement. And you seem like just the perfect thing our dear Count might need!”

  
   The man in green brightened at those words. He was what the Count needed? Obviously, this jester Dimentio was just stating the truth. He wondered why this thing felt so familiar, but vaguely so. He shrugged it off without a second thought.

  
   “Dimentio, I’m gonna need to take care of some things for the Count before we see him, so just show Mr. L around and stuff, K?” Nastasia strode past Dimentio, focused on a clipboard in her hand. “I don’t want him to accidentally walk into a cell and lock himself in or something.”  
Mr. L scoffed. “Why, that is the last thing someone with as great of a sense of direction as I would do” he exclaimed loudly. “In fact, I don’t need any jesters showing me around a castle, I could walk around here blindfolded if I wanted to!”

  
   Nastasia’s lips pursed in slight annoyance, but the jester’s smile seemed to grow on his mask. He bowed deeply in front of Mr. L, almost in a mocking way, but Luigi was sure it must’ve just been his imagination. “Oh really? I am dreadfully sorry, I had no idea I was in the presence of a great and powerful being such as yourself. Please excuse me, I will just stay behind you and you may lead the way to what will be your room, like a baby duckling dutifully following his mother.” Mr. L felt a bead of sweat on the side of his forehead. He honestly had absolutely no idea where he was, but what kind of minion worthy of Count Bleck’s approval would he be if he asked for help from this meager useless clown?

  
   “Very well then!” he cried out, pointing upwards dramatically. “Onwards we go!” He turned on one heel sharply and started marching stiffly in a random direction.

  
   “Um…” Nastasia stared after the retreating Mr. L. “Does he know that he’s walking straight towards the boiler room?” Dimentio grinned widely. “Oh I’m sure he does, my dear, I’m sure he does.” And with that, he rose up into the air and flew behind the poor lost Mr. L.


	2. Chapter 2

  “Well here we are, Mr. L,” Dimentio exclaimed cheerily as he flew through the door, dragging a semi-exhausted plumber. “Your very own brand new room.” He dropped Mr. L onto the floor and stood next to the crumpled body, admiring the scene. “I think you have the best room out of all of us.”

   Mr. L picked up his head, grumbling under his breath. He felt like he had walked the entire castle (and probably did) before finally sitting down and saying that the hallway was now his bedroom. Dimentio ended up picking him up by the legs and dragging him all the way to his room, bumping his head against every corner he could find.

   “What is this, it’s the size of a broom closet!” Mr. L protested loudly, getting up, staring at the empty room with black walls and a black floor. “Three broom closets, I believe.” Dimentio corrected brightly. “I’m not sleeping here!” Mr. L scowled and folded his arms. “I’m one of Count Bleck’s best minions! I deserve one of the best rooms here!”

   “Oh?” Dimentio flew back in front of Mr. L, floating just a few inches above him so that the other had to infuriatingly bend his back a little to face his stupid grinning mask. “My friend, have you even met the charming Count yet? Has he interviewed you and let you be his minion yet?”

   Mr. L’s expression fell and he felt a pit grow in his stomach. The jester was right. Though his thoughts became very hazy before he had encountered Nastasia, he knew that he had come directly to Castle Bleck to have an audience with the Count himself and become one of his best minions ever. But what if he didn’t have what it took? Preposterous, he was the Green Thunder, Mr. L! Nothing could best him, even a small interview with his most admirable idol since he could remember. The pit gnawed inside of him. He glared suspiciously at Dimentio. “How did he let you in?”

   The jester laughed joyfully and crossed his legs together, flapping them like butterfly wings while he spoke. “That is a very long and complicated story, one that I’d rather not go into too much detail with. Like a moth being brought to a flame, I came here with a purpose. To help our dear beloved Count of course.” one of the eyes on the mask winked at Mr. L. “After all, what sane person would try to stop three heroes and destroy the world with only three minions? Ahahahahaha!” he laughed again.

   “Wait, there are more?” Mr. L exclaimed, surprised at his surprise. Of course the Count would have more minions than just a secretary and a clown. That just means more suckers he would surpass as he would quickly rise the ranks to the best minion.

   “Well, I’d say only two and a half, to be honest, but who’s counting?” Dimentio grinned widely. Mr. L gave him a weirded out look. “Then how do I become so amazing that the Count will have no choice but to accept me?”

   “Hmmm…” Dimentio studied the green-eyed man, his disembodied hand stroking his chin. “I’d say perhaps a bit of a wardrobe change would suit you fairly well. Also, something with a dramatic flair, the Count likes those.” Suddenly, Dimentio did a flip and ended up right in front of Mr. L’s face, his mask’s nose touching the other’s bulbous one. “You know what he _really_ loves though?” Mr. L’s eyes widened both at the sudden disturbance of personal space and the low, dangerous, dark edge creeping into the masked jester’s voice. “W-What?” he squeaked, despite himself. Dimentio’s eyes narrowed as a shadow crossed over his face.

   “PRESENTATION!!” he bellowed and confetti instantly poofed everywhere with a loud _bang_. Mr. L shrieked girlishly and fell backwards on his butt. “Ahahahahahahaha!” Dimentio cackled with glee. “Your voice is like the epitome of a delicate flower opening its tender leaves in the spring.” “Grr..” Mr. L shot an angry glare at him, sitting on his knees. “Gee thanks, I really appreciate you screaming into my face like that.” “It was no trouble, really.” Dimentio’s grin seemed to have widened at that. “I was happy to do it.”

   Mr. L just gave him his best dead-eyed, soulless expression before continuing, trying to keep his worry dialed down to zero. “So..presentation? Do I throw confetti on him then?”

   Dimentio quickly gained a serious look and floated down to the ground, standing with his hands floating by his sides. He seemed to be slightly shorter than Mr. L, but the clown’s hat made him seem taller. “What I am about to share with you will absolutely guarantee your place in Castle Bleck.” he said quietly. “This is very secret information that I have yet to share with anyone else. But I have taken a great liking for you, Mr. L, so I will pass on these secrets to you.”

   Mr. L’s eyes widened just slightly and he caught his breath. “Okay, then just tell-”

   “However,” Dimentio interrupted. “I cannot just had out these powerful secrets for free. Everything has a price, and this is no exception. Are you willing to hear me out?” Mr. L stared at him suspiciously, but eventually curiosity won out and he nodded. “Alright..you owe me...one favor.” Dimentio grinned slightly, but still kept a serious expression. “I will ask you for one thing and you will have to do whatever I say.”

   “What? Forget it, clown! How am I supposed to know if you won’t order me to throw myself into a volcano or burn the castle down or possess me?” The jester cackled. “Ahahahaha you don’t! But where will you go if you don’t get accepted into this wonderful circle of misfits?”

   Mr. L was taken aback by this and frowned, gaining a worried expression. Dimentio was right. He really had nothing to lose at this point. He was 99.9% sure that the Count wouldn’t even hesitate to let him in after taking one glance at him! But then there was still that other .1% that he couldn’t shake off. It was better to be prepared than...not.

   “Fine.” Mr. L grumbled. “This better be good.” Dimentio stretched out his hand and the other took it. It felt weird touching a disembodied hand but oddly enough, it felt firm enough as if it were attached to the jester’s body. “Oh, it will be!” Dimentio exclaimed happily and studied Mr. L. “Now, back to what I said about your wardrobe...”


	3. Chapter 3

   Count Bleck sat at his desk, waiting impatiently. His office seemed impossibly huge, and empty. The only thing that contrasted the black walls and floor was his small desk, a giant red armchair, and the ceiling. The ceiling was why the Count loved this room. Unlike the grim sleek black design of the rest of the castle, it was a soft dark blue, like the nighttime sky. Stars decorated the spaces, seeming to almost twinkle merrily. It filled Count with a sense of warmth, nostalgia, and deep crushing sadness. He despised these quiet moments, though they happened to him more often than he would have liked. He preferred to focus all his thoughts on his master plan, or any distraction really, which is why he usually kept Nastasia by his side whenever he could. She knew nearly everything about him. Well, everything except what really mattered.

  The Count drummed his fingers on the wooden surface, frowning. “What could be delaying the Man in Green for so long? Asked Count Bleck.” 

 “He's probably getting over here right now. He doesn't know the castle that well so he probably got lost.” Nastasia replied coolly, picking her head up from the pile of papers and trying to hide her worry. Maybe putting Mr. L as a responsibility on Dimentio’s shoulders wasn't exactly the best idea. She hoped that they were actually on their way and not still trying to find Mr. L’s quarters. Or worse.

 There was a sharp, merry knock on the door and a jester’s hat and mask peeked through, still wearing that annoying grin. “Your Man in Green has arrived, my dear Count!” he sang.

  “Oh wonderful, let him in. Ordered Count Bleck.” Count Bleck ordered. Dimentio's head disappeared behind the door and Nastasia could barely pick up a fast, but furious conversation from at least one of the parties before Dimentio stepped back into the room, holding his hands behind his back with an air of formality. “My dear Count, may I humbly present to you, the Wielder of the Chaos Heart, your next promising minion, the Green Thunder, the Man in Green….MISSTEEERR LLLLLL!” He flew up to the ceiling and pointed at the door.

  With that, the doors burst open with a loud bang and in danced Luigi, wearing a frilly pink tutu that seemed way too small for him and a sparkling tiara on his head, throwing confetti.

  Nastasia’s and Count Bleck’s mouths dropped.

  “YES, BEHOLD! IT IS I, MR. L!” cried out the man, looking like he was forcing every movement on himself. “I HAVE COME TO SEEK AN AUDIENCE WITH THE GREAT MAGICIAN COUNT BLECK!”

   “Magician…??” repeated Count Bleck in a stupor.

  “THAT’S RIGHT!!” Mr. L roared as he twirled around the enormous office, trying to dance ballet and failing miserably at it. “I WILL BE THE KEY TO YOUR CONQUEST OF WORLD DOMINATION! I CAN DANCE, FIX YOUR TOILETS, DEFEAT THE HEROES SINGLE-HANDEDLY, AND ABOVE ALL, DANCE!!” He jumped in the air dramatically. Nastasia looked up at Dimentio. Though his masked only showed a polite, encouraging smile, she could see him quivering slightly from suppressed laughter. She groaned internally.

  Mr. L jumped right in front of Count Bleck, leaning in and holding a fist in front of the confused man’s face. “I. AM. MR. L!!!!” He opened his fist and blew into it gently, scattering a few pieces of confetti at the Count’s face with a small  _ tweeee! _

__ There was only stupefied silence.

  “So,” panted Mr. L, looking quite worn out. “Did I pass the interview?”

   “I-Interview??” Count Bleck exclaimed, looking shocked. He turned towards Nastasia and leaned next to her. “You didn't tell me this was an interview.”

   “That's because it isn't.” grumbled Nastasia. “Mr. L, you know you were already automatically working for the Count, right? I just asked you to come here to introduce yourself.”

   Mr. L’s mouth dropped. Everyone could suddenly hear laughter from above. Dimentio was rocking back and forth, hugging his legs and giggling with glee.    

 “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! A wonderful performance, Mr. L, I tip my hat off to you!! Couldn't have done it better myself! Ahahahahaha!”

  Mr. L quickly realized what was going on and a look of fury overcame him. “YOU STUPID CLOWN!!” he cried out in fury and jumped up to catch Dimentio, just narrowly missing his feet before the cackling jester dodged. Nastasia was slightly impressed by the height Mr. L could reach. But mostly extremely irritated. The Count sat as still as a statue as he observed the two odd characters chase each other around the room with blank eyes.

  “Let's see how high ballerinas can really go ahahaha! Can you catch me, Mr. L? Like a baby monkey trying to grab a coconut from the highest coconut tree, your efforts end in vain!”

  “I'll use your  _ head _ as a coconut when I catch you!!” Mr. L shouted furiously, jumping around in his tiny ballerina suit.

“ _ ENOUGH! _ ” shouted Nastasia, her voice silencing the two.

   Both Dimentio and Mr. L abruptly stopped shouting and laughing and froze in place (with Mr. L being frozen in mid-jump) and turned to her. “DIMENTIO, GO TO YOUR ROOM! MR. L, COME HERE!” After a moment of shock, Dimentio recovered and curtsied mockingly. “Of course, Mother.” he said teasingly and flew out of the room cackling. Mr. L unfroze and fell onto the floor, uttering a meek ‘Yes ma’am.’ before walking to the tiny infuriated blue-skinned secretary.

  Nastasia’s eyes were narrowed and her voice was dangerously quiet. “Go back to your room and stay there until I call you out. I don't care how long it takes for you to find it again.  _ Now _ .”

  Mr. L gulped and nodded vigorously before also exiting the office. The doors closed behind him.

  Nastasia sighed and adjusted her glasses. It was like having to deal with little children. 

  This whole time, the Count had sat there, observing possibly the oddest scene in his life. He felt a familiar, yet old tightness in his chest. Nastasia turned to face him, pulling the wild strands of her hair back into a neat bun again. “I'm really sorry, Count Bleck, I promise he's not usually like this, I can take care of him just fine-” She stopped when she saw the Count’s expression.

  Count Bleck turned his head towards her, a small smile growing on his face. Then a chuckle. Then he laughed, the tightness bubbling to the surface. He hadn't laughed this hard in ages, not genuinely. “I-I wish I could have taken a picture o-of that. Said Count Bleck.” he said as he laughed loudly, or more like boomed. Nastasia stood there in surprise. Then she smiled.

  Maybe having Mr. L in the group might not be the  _ worst  _ thing that ever could have happened here. At least, she hoped not.


	4. Chapter 4

   Mr. L grumbled loudly to himself as he walked down the hall, trying to find his way back. The path seemed to be a bit familiar to him now since he was just going back the way he came to the Count’s office, but the black interior design certainly didn’t help him navigate any better.

   “Stupid Dimentio..stupid clown...how dare he try to humiliate the great Mr. L..” he muttered angrily. “This is all his fault. He tricked me. Stupid..stupid…” Mr. L threw the tiara violently at the wall and pulled at the uncomfortably tight ballerina tutu. How he got it on in the first place was a miracle to being with. He remembered Dimentio saying that he had borrowed it from an old friend. Ha, probably just the clown trying to cover up his own clothing. Mr. L imagined Dimentio prancing around in a pink tutu and instantly felt a little better.

   “Hehe..I should do that to him while he’s asleep..somehow,” he chuckled. “Well, it’s time to finally take this ridiculous thing off of me!” Mr. L pulled the tutu over his chest, but the collar part got stuck under his chin. It felt as if the only person this dress was fit for was someone with a stick neck. Mr. L stumbled into a wall, not being able to see anything, and struggled around a corner. He yanked at the tutu, but he couldn’t even seem to tear it. He stumbled forward faster in frustration. “Come on!” he grit his teeth and gave the tutu another hard yank, before his elbow seemed to connect to something that knocked both him and the object down. He heard a high pitched squeal and a _thump_ sound _._ He peeked from the folds of the tutu and was met with a tiny girl. She had green skin and a square head, with her arms and legs being only sticks. She wore a yellow dress with white polka dots and a red collar. Her hair was pulled into two cute little ponytails. She grimaced and rubbed her arm, before turning to Mr. L.

   “Hey! What’s the big idea, buster-??” She cut herself off as she caught sight of what the man was wearing. Her eyes seemed to bug out of their sockets. She looked like she was trying to decide whether to laugh or get angry.

   Apparently it was the latter.

  _“What are you doing with my dress??”_ she shrieked. “ _You stole it, didn’t you! I knew I was missing it, how dare you go into my room, just who do you think you are?!?!”_

   Mr. L felt like throwing out a snippy remark as a response but instead cowered in front of the tiny girl, who looked absolutely livid. “It wasn’t me, it was Dimentio!” protested Mr. L before the situation could get any worse. “He tricked me into putting this thing on and humiliated me!”

   The girl stopped at that and seemed to simmer down a bit. Her eyes narrowed. “Of course it’s Dimentio. Again.” she hissed. “Ooh, I’m going to get him back real good and when I’m done with him he won’t dare go _near_ my diary!”

 _“Who said anything about a diary, Mimi?”_ a disembodied voice echoed through the hallway. Then Dimentio materialized right above Mr. L, holding a fuzzy bright green book with heart stickers plastered all over it. “But I will take that warning to heart anyway, for you! Ahahahaha!” the jester laughed and disappeared into nothingness again. Mimi’s face went from lime green to dull red and steam seemed to come out of her nostrils. “DIMENTIO!” she screamed, but the only thing in reply was loud cackling that seemed to move down the hallway. Mimi turned on one heel to face the sound. “GET BACK HERE YOU BIG FAT MEANIE!” she was prepared to tear after him until Mr. L grabbed her stick-like arm and held her back. She looked back at him impatiently, a vein popping on the side of her square forehead.

   “Er...if you can help me get this dress off, I can probably help you with Dimentio?” he offered, swallowing his pride. He had none to lose in a tutu anyway. Mimi huffed. “I don’t need _your_ help, I can handle the clown freak myself!” Mr. L tried not to comment, eyeing the tiny little girl who only seemed to reach his waist.

   “Well..what if we get _back_ at him?” he suggested. “I have a brother, I know how to do this.” He blinked in surprise. Where had _that_ sentence come from? He didn’t remember having a brother. He didn’t remember having anyone really. The thought was gone as quickly and randomly as it had come and the man shook it off.

   “What’s your idea then?” Mimi asked, half curious, half annoyed. Mr. L pointed at the dress and gave her a sarcastic stare. Mimi rolled her eyes and groaned. “Fiiiinnneee..” She took a few hops behind him and pulled at something. “You know you could have unbuttoned it anytime, right?” She giggled as the tutu easily slipped off Mr. L, leaving him only in his underwear.

   “The Green Thunder doesn’t have time to unbutton anything, he is too busy doing important things,” he grumbled, trying to save face in front of this toddler. “Like getting back at evil jesters, for example.”

   “You have no idea.” Mimi grunted and folded her arms. She suddenly brightened. “Oh, you must be the Count’s new henchman! He said you were supposed to hold the Chaos Heart or something. We had a whole meeting about it but it was boring so I fell asleep. I think Nastasia was the only one listening actually.” She had decided to leave out the first thirty minutes she spent making googly eyes at the Count as he spoke before just flopping her head down on the table and passing out, snoring loudly. It took ages for her to wash the marker moustache off of her face.

   Mr. L perked up at that. A whole meeting about him! The Count really thought he was that important? His expression darkened as he recalled how Dimentio tricked him into looking like an idiot in front of the Count. He would show him! He would show them all! “Yes!” he exclaimed boldly. “I am Mr. L, the Count’s new _best_ minion!” He grinned. Mimi scowled slightly. “Hey, watch your mouth, buster, that’s _my_ title. Anyway,” she moved on. “Okay, you like- _don’t_ have the stomach for just walking around without a shirt. Don’t you know the standard henchman protocol?”

   “What standard henchman protocol?” asked Mr. L with high suspicion.

   Mimi giggled. “Silly, it’s just your trademark costume! Oh, and your very own theme song! It’s really important to look fashionable and have great background music while you’re fighting the heroes.” She studied him and Mr. L suddenly felt self-conscious and wished he could just put on the tutu again. “Hmm….I can help you with the costume part! I think I have just the thing that would fit your style.”

   “You do, huh.” He said, not without some hesitation. “Are you good?”

   Mimi smiled and fluttered her dress. “Shopping is nice and all,” she replied sweetly. “But sometimes I want dresses that I can never find, so I just learned how to make my own. I have to say, I am a natural at it. I’m like, an expert at fashion.”

   Mr. L gave her a long hard stare before shrugging his shoulders, deciding to trust her, however cautiously. “It better be amazing,” he replied sourly. “And then we’ll get back at Dimentio, right?”

   Mimi giggled. “Absolutely! After all..” A dark shadow crossed over her face and her smile widened creepily. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Mr. L grinned evilly in response. “Likewise.”

   Then Mimi grabbed Mr. L’s hand and started to drag him down a hallway in the opposite direction with surprising strength. “Come on! My room’s this way. I already have ideas for your henchman costume. Are you into bandannas?”

   Mr. L groaned at that, then actually considered it. Well, the mystery of it would certainly fit his awesomeness. And besides, he had a feeling that he might need it for later..


	5. Chapter 5

   There were piles of clothing discarded carelessly on the floor now, in all colors and sizes. Masks, shoes, belts, pants, jackets, you name it.

   Mimi was busy throwing said clothing haphazardly out of one of her closets, mumbling things like ‘Maybe this…?’ ‘No, that wouldn't work..’ ‘Ew how did this garbage get in here!’ Mr. L meanwhile was trying on clothes in front of a giant mirror. He felt jealous of Mimi’s room. It was huge, at least in comparison to his, with a giant chunk dedicated just to her wardrobe.

   “It actually used to be a ballroom,” the green-skinned girl said earlier when they first came in. “I don't know how the Count got this castle, but as soon as I saw this room, I knew I  _ had  _ to have it. After all, best room reserved to the best henchwoman.” She fluttered her lashes innocently at Mr. L. The man scowled.

   “Whatever.” he said before marching into the room to look at the numerous articles of clothing.

   Currently, Mr. L was admiring his gorgeous reflection in the mirror. He posed dramatically in a tux. He bet all the ladies would fall for his charms while he was wearing  _ this.  _ “Hey Mimi, what do you think?” he called out, holding a rose and made the most seductive expression he could.

   Mimi turned her head to see and made a face. “Bleh. So not.”  she replied, sticking her tongue out.

   “What?? Why? What's wrong with it?” Mr. L protested loudly, examining himself. “Does it have a stain?” Mimi giggled. “No, you dummy! It just doesn't suit you, that's all. It doesn't scream I. AM. MR. L! See, try it.”

   He turned back to the mirror and took on a fighting stance. “I. AM. MR. L!!” he cried out dramatically. It didn't have quite the effect he had hoped. The tuxedo seemed to fit someone who would have a quiet aura of charm and seduction around them, not Mr. L’s bodacious nature. He sighed and took the tie off. “I guess I'll just have to be a ladies man without the suit then.” he said. Mimi snorted and rolled her eyes. “Right,  _ sure _ .” she said and dove back into the closet, her thin spindly legs sticking out from the mess.

   She pulled out a handful of worn out crumbled papers, most of them having some sort of drawings on there. “Okay, so we need to brainstorm this. You need something green, since you’ll like the prophesied Man in Green and everything. It’d be pretty weird if you were the Man in Green and worse like something pink.”

   Mr. L’s cheeks burned from embarrassment. “I’d imagine it would be.” he grumbled. “So,” Mimi continued, ignoring him. “You need some sort of color scheme. Like..green and black and..red?”

   The man shook his head vigorously. “I don’t like red that much,” he said. “Maybe just green and black?” “Ooh, and something covering your eyes!” Mimi interjected excitedly. She scribbled something down rapidly and held it up for Mr. L to see. “What’d you think?” 

   Mr. L leaned down and squinted at the drawing. It just looked like a bunch of scribbles. “It looks terrible.” he stated, his voice flat. Mimi made an indignant scoff. “Uh, rude! I’m trying to help you, you don’t have to be such a butthead.” 

   He grunted and crossed his arms, looking away. Mimi took it as an unsaid apology. “Fine, I can change a  _ few  _ things, but personally, I think the buttons just  _ have  _ to stay. And the bandanna. We talked about this.” Mr. L shrugged, not willing to argue with the tiny square girl and picked up the other drawn on papers. Most of them had several scribbles that vaguely resembled Mimi and a few were drawings of the Count with a bunch of hearts surrounding it. He wondered what that was supposed to mean.

   “Okay, I think I got it. What’s your size?” she asked. “5 feet, seven inches,” he automatically replied without much thought. Mimi scribbled that information down. “Got it! This’ll take me..maybe until after dinner to make. I know, I know, but you’ll just have to wait.” she closed the closet door with some effort. “By the way, O’Chunks is in charge of dinner tonight. He’s really good. We used to try to transition, but everyone else is so awful and I think Dimentio tried to poison everyone. So yeah, now it’s just O’Chunks doing all the cooking.” 

   Mr. L wondered what kind of person would have the name O’Chunks. Probably someone small and delicate. “I’ll try not to throw up then.” he said sarcastically. Mimi laughed. “You better not. Now tell me your plan!” she demanded. Mr. L grinned and looked around, making sure the coast was clear, before leaning into Mimi’s lack of an ear.

   “Okay, so first, we-”

* * *

   Mimi opened the door and let Mr. L out, grinning. “Alright, I’ll start on your outfit in a jiffy! Don’t you worry about it.” Mr. L smirked. “I’m very happy about that!” he replied loudly. “I’m just going to walk around until I find someone, or my room. That would be nice too.”

   “Okay then, byyyeeeee!” Mimi waved brightly and slammed the door in the man’s face. “Tch.” Mr. L crossed his arms. “And she tells  _ me  _ that I’m rude.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. L couldn't seduce ladies even with the suit.  
> I wonder why he doesn't like the color red..


	6. Chapter 6

   Dimentio snuck into Mimi’s room, careful to stay invisible. He floated above all the rubbish on the floor and cautiously  maneuvered past Mimi, who was busy sifting through a drawer full of fabrics. She pulled out a lot of black. Dimentio was vaguely surprised that she could even identify that color, given how bright her sense of style usually was, but didn’t dwell on it for too long. He was on an incredibly important mission, one that would seal the fates of all those who oppose him.

   The jester floated to Mimi’s bed and felt under her pillow, drawing out a fuzzy green book with heart stickers on it. It had a lock on it. Dimentio only had to use a bit of magic and _click,_ the lock opened. He shared a silent giggle to himself, careful not to make a single sound. With the tactful precision he had used when he entered, Dimentio quietly floated out of the room and down the hallway and into his bedroom.

   With the book now in his hands, Dimentio sat on a floating square and crossed his legs. Mimi was so predictable when it came to hiding her diary. She had tried every corner imaginable, but Dimentio could always predict where it was put with ease. Mimi was known to update her diary as often as she could, as she had a lot to say, mostly angry rants about Dimentio, providing him with a nearly daily source of entertainment. Sometimes, she wasn’t even aware that he stole it, since the cat and mouse game they had established with each other would become dull soon if he created a routine between them. He usually put it back when he was finished. Unless he wanted her to know, Mimi was blissfully unaware that her diary was clearly not in its hiding spot.

   Dimentio opened the now unlocked book, grinning with glee. He flipped to a new page.

_Dear Diary, I’m so glad that I have you to write in! Because guess what? Dimentio stole my diary AGAIN! I mean, I think he put it back while I was making that super cool new outfit with Mr. L (who is a total Mr. Loser btw haha what a dummy) because when I looked, it was there, but I TOTALLY saw him in the hallway with it, so that definitely means he read it! I’m sick of him always taking my stuff without permission, why can’t he just ask nicely?? I mean, I’d probably still kick him out of my room if he did that, but still!! But today, I put it in a super secret hiding place that I KNOW he’ll never be able to find!!!_

   Dimentio laughed heartily at this. Poor, sweet, gullible, idiotic Mimi. She couldn’t even hope to equal his intelligence and skill. He continued reading, grinning widely.

_I have to be super secretive about this because I am about to share a big secret! Like, a really really big ginormous secret that Dimentio should never know!_

   The jester leaned forward, smirking slyly. This should be interesting, knowing Mimi.

_Okay, so you know that big crush I said I had on the Count? Well, I need to tell you the truth because I just can’t keep it hidden anymore. I actually have a super huge crush on Dimentio!_

   Dimentio’s smirk fell. “What.”

_Yeah, I know, it’s crazy! I’ve had a crush on him ever since I first laid eyes on him. He’s so cute and charming and funny! I love his outfit and the way he laughs, it’s so adorable! I blush every time I see him. Of course I can’t tell him because I don’t know if he likes likes me back. I mean, he steals my diary every day so he probably wants to see if I like him. Well guess what! He won’t be reading my diary anymore so he’ll never find out that I have a crush on him!!_

   The charming jester felt sick in the stomach. **“What.”**

_Well, honestly, I can’t lie anymore. I think I’m falling in love with Dimentio! Every single time I see him, I get butterflies in my tummy! I only said that I had a crush on Count Bleck because I didn’t want Dimentio to find out that it was actually him! But when I get my perfect world, I’m going to have a bunch of super muscular Dimentios working for me and we’ll be in a hot tub pool kissing and making out and stuff! In fact, I was actually planning on asking Dimentio out today. I’m going to put in a love potion (which the lady who gave it to me said it was and it's pink and it was sooo hard to find but I did it) and I put one of my old gears in so when he eats his food, he’s going to instantly fall in love with me and we’re going to live happily ever after and make out all the time! I can’t wait!_

_With love, Mimi <3 _

   Dimentio closed the book slowly and put it down to the side as far away from him as he could, as if it were an unstable bomb. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out calmly.

   And then threw up over the side.

* * *

 

   “‘Ey, Dim, yer hardly even touched yer food!” O’Chunks said pointedly in Dimentio’s direction. The other just continued poking at his colcannon, but the mask gave the Scottish man a brilliant smile. “Dinner doesn’t look as appetizing as usual,” he sighed dramatically. “Like a delectable steak left in the burning sun, it’s a bit too burnt for my tastes.”

   “Well, _I_ think it’s delicious, O’Chunks!” interjected Mimi, batting her lashes at Dimentio. Dimentio just turned back to his untouched plate. His mask showed a wide smile as usual, but underneath he wore a disgusted grimace. Like his meager respect for Mimi wasn't already low enough.

   Out of the corner of his eye, Dimentio saw Mimi carefully observing him, watching for signs of any unusual behavior. That didn’t strike him as odd, considering the situation he had found himself in. What he did find odd was that Mr. L was doing the same. Occasionally, the two would glance at each other knowingly, as if holding in laughter.

   Dimentio narrowed his eyes at his colcannon, thinking hard. Something was going on that he wasn’t aware of, but he needed to gather all of his information properly before he could make a move. He was a master chess player after all. Though even with that in mind, he didn’t dare touch his dinner in fear of finding himself thinking that Mimi’s dress was actually cute.

 

   Meanwhile, Mr. L was devouring his colcannon with great speed. Not because it was actually good or anything, but because he had just realized from the first bite that he was starving. When was the last time he had ate? He couldn’t recall. Besides, the dish wasn’t _that_ awful. It was actually quite good but the man found that his tastes didn’t lie in what O’Chunks had called a ‘delicious traditional stew wi’ boiled cabbage, carrots, turnips, ‘n’ neeps.’

   He and Mimi carefully watched Dimentio while he sat at the table, both darting their eyes away innocently whenever he glanced at them. He seemed to act normal for the most part, but much more subdued and he didn’t even touch his food, instead just choosing to play with it.

   “Alright laddie, slow down wull ye. Ye’r close te choken on yer food!” the giant Scottish man exclaimed towards Mr. L. “Ye must be hungry. Either that or mah cooking is just that good.” He grinned at him from across the table. Mr. L didn’t have the heart to tell him it was the former. Either that or his mouth was full.

   “Plehhffugrhhff..” he muffled, his cheeks puffed out. O’Chunks took it as a compliment. “Ah shuid mak' more next time then, just fur ye!”

   “And for Dimentio too!” Mimi piped in. Dimentio didn’t react, but Mr. L could sense that the only thing keeping him from throttling Mimi was the fact that they were in company. O’Chunks didn’t seem to catch onto the odd suspicious comment and nodded. “Aye wull if he actually starts eating it.” he replied, shooting Dimentio an irritated look. Mimi smirked.

   “Now now, we don’t need to order Dimentio to eat if he doesn’t wish to do so...said Count Bleck. Now Nastasia, what is the news with the Heart so far..” The Count sat at the head of the table in a giant regal dining chair with the top shaped like a crown. The rest of the chairs had a similar design, but were slightly smaller and without the crown shape. All the original furniture seemed to have a royal medieval look to it.

   Nastasia sat to the right of the Count, still looking miffed from the day’s earlier events, but seemed to be mostly calm now. O’Chunks sat next to her, helping himself to most of his own dish. Mimi sat to the left of the Count and Mr. L next to her. Dimentio sat as far away from O’Chunks as he could without anyone noticing. It was an odd dynamic. Mr. L stared at the group eating and chatting with each other.

   “Oh yeah!” Mimi yelled suddenly and stood up, banging her hands on the table. She disappeared underneath and bobbed back up holding a plain brown package. Mr. L took it excitedly. “Here’s your very new henchman outfit! I know I’m supposed to say ‘I hope you like it’ but I don’t need to because of course you’ll love it because I’m a master fashion designer.” she flipped one of her short square ponytails haughtily. Mr. L rolled his eyes and started to take off his blue overalls. O’Chunks took his wrist and stopped him, looking shocked. “Oy, ye micht want tae change somewhaur whaur nae a body else micht see ye, lad.” Mr. L quickly realized what he was about to do and turned a faint shade of pink before taking the box and running out of the dining room stiffly.

   Count Bleck glanced at Nastasia quizzically and leaned towards her from the side. “Er..has this Mr. L always had a problem with getting dressed properly?” Nastasia turned a darker shade of blue. “Uhm…I really hope not.” she replied hesitantly. Just then the doors burst open and in came Mr. L in his new outfit. Mimi gasped happily and there were literal stars floating around her.

   He wore a black jumpsuit that covered most of his body, with two large yellow buttons at the sides resembling his overalls. He wore a green bandanna around his neck and a brown belt with a bright yellow buckle. A black mask covered his eyes and eyebrows, making them look white and adding a mysterious look to him. There hadn’t seem to have been much inspiration for the hat, since it was just like Mr. L’s old hat except the L was on backwards and had a black circle instead of a white one. As a finishing touch, he also sported dark grey boots and gloves.

   The man in green did a spin in the air, holding one hand above him. “I. AM. MR. L!!” he cried out dramatically.

   “It works!” Mimi yelled, clapping. “I told you it would look awesome! I had to scratch out the whip and the stripes on the suit because that probably would have been to much but it looked just as good as I knew it would be!”

   “Or maybe I can just make anything look good on me.” Mr. L boasted, his ego skyrocketing in the suit. He felt a humongous boost of confidence wearing it, unlike with his previous plain plumber outfit, which looked like it belonged to some sort of toilet fixing, tree hugging poor bloke.

   “Yes, Mr. L, _anything_ would look good on you.” drawled Dimentio, seemingly forgotten about the dispute between him and Mimi temporarily. He smirked at Mr. L and was resting his chin on his hand.

   “Shut up, Dimentio.” Mr. L folded his arms. “Ye look good!” O’Chunks commented approvingly. “It fits ye bonnie well.”

   “Second time’s the charm, I always say.” Nastasia said, smiling knowingly at Mr. L. The Count chuckled. “Count Bleck approves of this outfit and welcomes you here. Bleh heh heh!”

   Mr. L looked around the dining room, a feeling rising in his chest that he couldn’t seem to describe. Everyone here, paying attention to him, teasing, making jokes, laughing, eating weird Scottish food. He couldn’t explain this feeling of something that resembled happiness, but something that ran much deeper. It was like a feeling of family.

   And Luigi never wanted this moment to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to use a Scottish accent translator to get O'Chunks accurate. Poor guy, he hardly gets any attention from the fans.  
> Mimi should be grateful that there wasn't actually any love potion (just assume such a thing exists in the Mario verse) in the food or else the best way Dimentio would get rid of those feelings is to vaporize her.  
> I have been looking forward to writing this chapter after reading several fanfictions over the Internet (some being really good actually) with Mimi and Dimentio getting together and thought to add my own comedic twist in what I'd imagine would actually happen. Mimi's reaction would be pretty similar if Dimentio did this to her instead. In my opinion, they'd have more of a hate/slight grudging friendship/sibling rivalry relationship.  
> It seems as though Nastasia has gotten rid of Luigi's inhibitions a little TOO well haha.  
> And yes, Dimentio can throw up. Surprise surprise.


	7. Chapter 7

   “Hey, Mario! Wait-a up!” Luigi ran after Mario, shouting his name. His legs didn’t quite work the way he wanted them to and his jumps left extra slow, almost like he was floating instead of jumping. Mario turned around. “Hehe, sorry bro! I guess I’m-a little too excited for this tennis tournament. Is that-a little weird for you?”

   Luigi caught up with his brother. “Nah, I’m a little excited too. I can’t believe it’s already our 50th time saving the Princess from Bowser! And even Bowser’s coming this time.”

   “Speaking of princesses…” Mario continued, smiling widely under his moustache. He nudged his brother as they walked. “You do know Princess Daisy is a-coming to this tournament as well? She’s coming all the way from Sarasaland to play! I wonder why, eh?” Luigi flushed a light pink. “C’mon, Mario, you know we’re just friends.”

   “Whatever you say.” Mario laughed and started jogging ahead of the road. After a moment, Luigi easily caught up with him. “You know, I’ve been wondering..do you ever miss..you know..home?” Mario faltered in his jogging and slowed down slightly, looking a little sad. “Sometimes. I dunno, we already have lives here. We’re not just regular old plumbers, we’re heroes Luigi!” Mario turned to his brother, his eyes bright. Luigi returned it with a hesitant smile. “I don’t know, I just kinda miss being regular people, not having the pressure of the world and the kingdoms on our shoulders. I wish we didn’t have to go through all that.”

   Mario scoffed. “We?” he asked. Then his eyes widened. Luigi had already stopped at that and stared at Mario like a wounded puppy. Mario grabbed Luigi’s arm, apologizing profusely. “I-I didn’t mean that, Luigi, you know that, that was just-a random thing that came out of my-a silly mouth, you’re a Hero!”

 _‘And the Player 2.’_ Luigi thought, but chose not to voice his opinion. Instead, he smiled and patted his concerned brother on the shoulder, scratching his head. “No worries, bro, I know you didn’t mean it.” He started jumped across flag poles and floating bricks down the road. “C’mon, the tournament isn’t going to wait for us!” He called out. Mario smiled, relieved, and went after him. But he had trouble catching up to his green-clad sibling, just because the other was going so fast.

* * *

 

   Luigi’s head shot up and he sat up on the mattress, looking around wildly. Where was he?? Why was everything black? Was he being held prisoner? If so, why wasn’t he in a cage? Maybe it was invisible or a special type of room meant to keep him contained. Luigi bolted out of bed. “M-Mario??” he called out, panicking. Where was his brother? Did they get him too? The last thing he could remember was..glasses? Luigi looked down. What in the name of the Mushroom Kingdom was he wearing?? Black jumpsuit, green bandanna-he felt his face- a mask?? He felt so distorted right now, but nevertheless got up and started pounding on the walls. “Mario!! Where are you? Let me go! Mario!!!” He felt a chill crawl up his spine and whirled around. He was being watched. “W-Who’s there??” he cried out, holding up his fists. His head was swimming and he suddenly felt a wave of confusion overtake him.

   A square in midair appeared and Dimentio flipped into the room, his mask grinning. “Ah, so you have awoken, as gracefully as a crate of fireworks being set off during a recital!” Luigi gaped at the magician and fell onto his knees, clutching his head. “Y-You..what..” He felt an unknown sensation snap in his head and suddenly everything became clearer again, more focused and less hazy. Mr. L looked up at Dimentio, scowling. “Did you wake me up?” he grumbled angrily in the jester’s direction. Dimentio laughed. “You seemed to have a momentary relapse of consciousness, my friend. You were walking around only half awake, screaming!”

   Mr. L blinked. “Why would I be screaming?” he asked, confused. Dimentio just shrugged carelessly. “It’s not like you don’t do that while you’re awake, why would anything be different while you’re asleep? Ahahaha!” Mr. L scowled and lunged at Dimentio, who simply floated up to a height the man in green couldn’t reach. “You jump around like a toddler jumping around for his toy!” Dimentio teased, laughing and bobbing around in the air. Mr. L huffed in frustration and crossed his arms. “Fine, fine, you win this round because I have gone easy on you. What are you doing in my room anyway?”

   Dimentio smiled and sat in the air, his hands behind his head. “Why, I was sent here by Nastasia to call you for breakfast! You do eat, of course?” He floated down and inspected Mr. L’s stomach, his nose poking it. He rubbed his chin. “Mm..yes, I believe you do..” Mr. L made an infuriated squawk and shoved Dimentio away from him. This only made the jester’s grin wider. “Such fuss for such a small ordeal!” he cried out melodramatically. “How has it come to this??” He barely dodged a swipe from the angry man. “Ahahaha! Ciao, Mr. L!” With that, Dimentio flipped out, leaving Mr. L alone in an empty black room apart from the mattress.

   Mr. L grumbled under his breath as he put on his hat that was lying beside the mattress and adjusted it. He had no idea what he looked like right now, but knowing his natural good looks, he had absolutely nothing to worry about.

   A tiny spark lit up in his head and he frowned. He had a dream..he didn’t remember exactly what it was about. A memory maybe? Of what? Of red? He sensed that it could be important, but the feeling was gone just as quickly as everything else. Mr. L waved the feeling off and headed down to the dining room. He wondered what kind of breakfast O’Chunks had made today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, I know, but ah well.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this fanfiction has caused me to do all sorts of research I didn't think I'd ever have to do.  
> Case in point, Scottish breakfast foods.

   Haggis, as it turned out, was even more unusual than colcannon, but Mr. L had to take what he could get. Besides, it wouldn't do him any good to turn up his nose at his food in front of the Count. Mr. L squirmed in his seat excitedly, trying to look sophisticated and disciplined. The seats had changed slightly. The Count and Nastasia sat in their usual spots, and O’Chunks next to Nastasia again, but Mimi and Dimentio sat across from each other, glaring. At least, Mimi was. The two had come a little later than Mr. L, who snagged a seat next to the Count the first chance he got. Mimi ate her food slowly, her narrowed eyes never leaving Dimentio. Dimentio seemed a little calmer and more amused, making a point of eating his food very deliberately, sometimes interjecting with a “Mm, this food is delicious, don't you think Mimi?” Mimi only replied with a low hiss. No one dared to ask what had occurred between the two and collectively and wordlessly decided to leave them both to their own devices.

   “Mr. L, did you sleep in those clothes?” Nastasia asked him. Mr. L grinned. “What can I say, they look so great on me that I just can't bear to part with them.” Count Bleck chuckled slightly, his top hat hiding his eyes. Mr. L felt pride bubble up in his chest and shot Nastasia a look of superiority. She either didn't notice or didn't care. “You have hairs sticking out on your beard and you smell like a dead fish.”

   “A very  _ handsome  _ dead fish.” Mr. L corrected, promoting another chuckle from the Count. Nastasia shrugged, not seeming to be affected. “Okay, but I’m gonna need you to wash up afterwards, and please shave. You can’t just go and fight the Heroes looking like that. And we have pajamas and everything, K? This isn’t some sort of dungeon.” 

   Mr. L chose not to look grateful and instead nodded with a short “No problem.” before looking down at his plate again. Haggis, some sort of weird sausage, and a cup of black coffee. It wasn’t bad but-Mr. L poked at the weird collection of food on his plate-it wasn’t something he’d probably be a fan of. He looked up, a thought suddenly crossing his mind.

   “Dimentio, how can you eat with a mask on?” he asked the jester curiously. Said jester looked away from his silent staring contest with Mimi and put on a dazzling grin, making another point of putting food into his mouth and chewing it. “My dear Mr. L, how can you be sure that the mask  _ isn’t  _ my face?” he asked. Everyone at the table groaned. Mimi rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Now now.” Dimentio put his hands up in defeat. “I was only amusing our new _ prophesied _ arrival with a curious thought.” He put extra emphasis on ‘prophesied’, staring directly at Mimi with a cunning little grin. Mimi scrunched up her nose in disgust. “But, of course, it would be incredibly inconvenient if I only used a  _ regular  _ mask, so of course, instead I use..magic!” He threw up his hands and a tiny bit of confetti flew from his fingertips. “So whatever I eat goes into my stomach just like with any other mouth.”

   “Yeah, like my  _ Rubees.”  _ Mimi threatened in a loud voice. Dimentio just laughed. “Ahahaha! I quiver with fear, like a leaf in the hands of a child on a cold winter’s day!” Mimi stood up on the chair, her legs being too tiny to just stand on the floor, and banged her hands on the table. “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME??” she yelled, appearing to reach the final straw. Nastasia also stood up. “Mimi, sit down.” “But Naaassssyyyy!” Mimi whined. “ **Sit. Down.** ” Mimi sat, her hands folded, seething. Dimentio continued to sit there rather smugly and flashed Mr. L a charming grin. Mr. L just rolled his eyes sarcastically.

   “‘Ey, pipe down, the Count’s about t’ say somethin’!” O’Chunks interjected. Mr. L turned and looked at Count Bleck in surprise, wondering how O’Chunks could tell. Even the Count himself seemed a bit surprised. “Er..yes, thank you O’Chunks. I do have an important announcement regarding our mission.” he continued, with all the minions focusing on him now. “This is not the best place to discuss such plans, so I will summon you to our planning room after you are all done eating.” With that, Count Bleck stood up, spread his cape and rose his scepter, and flipped out of the room. 

   “Mm..my, what a dramatic exit.” Dimentio mused after the Count was gone. “I’d thought you’d appreciate anything dramatic.” Mimi shot back sourly. Dimentio laughed. “Oh, I do! But he might need to work on his timing a little.” He pointed at the Count’s plate and Mr. L realized that it had crashed onto the floor from the dramatic sweep of the Count’s cape. “Ahahaha! Well, I must be going as well. Wouldn’t want to keep our dear Count waiting! Ciao!” With that, Dimentio rose into the air and flipped out, leaving a few ripples in the air after him. Mimi hmphed. 

   “Honestly, the nerve of him..” she muttered. She turned into Dimentio. “Ooh, look, I’m Dimentio!” she said, mimicking the jester’s voice exactly. “I’m so dumb and stupid and I know that Mimi is better than me in every way! Duh hur hur!” Seeing Dimentio doing something like that cracked Mr. L up, and he sat in his chair, laughing. O’Chunks joined in after a minute, booming. Nastasia smiled and covered her mouth to hide her quiet giggling. Mimi, encouraged by the positive reactions, continued. “Ohhh Mimi, you’re so amazing and I am just the worst! Can you please forgive me for being such a meanie butthead to you? I’ll stop reading your diary and I’ll make your bed and everything!” Mimi as Dimentio laid across the table dramatically, one disembodied hand resting over her forehead. “I can’t stand it anymore!” 

   O’Chunks choked on some coffee and dribbled a few drops on his uniform, laughing. Mr. L covered his mouth with a first and snorted into it. Nastasia pinched her nose, disguising her bemusement with disapprovement. 

   “Mimi, I’ll do anything- anything!!” Mimi-Dimentio cried out. Nastasia just shook her head. “Guys, we need to meet with the Count before he gets mad or something.” she paused before adding. “From staying too long around Dimentio.” 

   Everyone laughed, though only O’Chunks looked a bit guilty about it. “Let’s not make fun o’Dimentio while he isn’t here.” He stood up and put his eating utensils neatly on the plate before flipping out. Mimi poofed back into herself and flipped out as well, giggling. Mr. L looked at the empty spaces with jealousy, wishing he could do something cool like that. “Hey Nastasia, could you teach me how to teleport with squares and everything?” 

   Nastasia smiled and adjusted her glasses. “No.” she said simply. “Take a right, down two doors, and it’s the big set of doors that leads to a room with a bunch of boxes.” She flipped out as well, leaving Mr. L alone in the dining room. Again.

   Mr. L dropped down onto his knees and yelled  _ “Whhyyyyyy?” _ Then he instantly stopped, got up, and walked calmly out of the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Dimentio. No wonder he wants to destroy the multiverse and watch the light fade out of everyone Luigi knows and loves.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind comments and support! I really appreciate it. It was enough to drag myself out of the gutters and give you guys another chapter. I don't have any schedule for postings, but hopefully it'll be less than nine months this time.

“I am very glad that you all came here, my minions,” Count Bleck said. “Especially seeing as you had no choice and I would have fired you on the spot if you dared to disobey my orders, but it’s the thought that counts.”

“Well, doesn’t that just give me a warm and fuzzy feeling in my stomach.” Mr. L muttered under his breath. Mimi and Nastasia seemed to have both heard and instantly shot dark glares at Mr. L, though the rest of the group seemed oblivious. Mr. L shrunk on his floating block, waving at both nervously. The Count continued, unaware.

“This task I will give you will prove your ultimate loyalty to me, and I hope that you will not fail..for your sakes.” his monocle glowed a fiery red menacingly and everyone except one felt a cold shudder down their backs.

“It is tremendously simple, practically child’s play. Your task is to bring me Mario and the rest of his crew. Dead or alive, I don’t care. Preferably alive so that I can taunt him with my victory, but it wouldn’t matter because we’re all going to recreate new perfect worlds without him.”

Mr. L frowned. Hearing the name Mario ticked him off slightly. Who would have a name as stupid as that? Mr. L was a way cooler name. It had a better ring to it. Mario sounded more like a balloon one might find in a second-hand carnival.

He decided to keep that comment to himself. The others seemed disgruntled by his blatant lateness, though no one brought up the fact of how unfair it was that they could instantly teleport themselves whenever they wanted to and Mr. L had to take the long way around. It was admittedly not the nicest experience of waiting on the Man in Green only to have the great prophesied one himself run into the room huffing and puffing.

To be fair, the only way he had the faintest idea of where everyone went was because of his previous tour with Dimentio. As much as the clown annoyed him, he was grateful for all the rooms he made Mr. L walk in and admire until his legs gave out. And it wasn’t very difficult to spot the huge black doors in the center of an even bigger hall covered with dramatically lit black torches on either side of the wall. The meeting room itself seemed to be an arena. There were blocks that floated in the air, meaning that Mr. L had to climb them all to the empty spot above with the others before collapsing on top of it. But he was of course the great and mighty Mr. L, so he had recovered quickly enough.

Mimi’s high-pitched voice snapped him out of his twenty-minutes ago flashback. “Yeah Count, O’Chunks is right for once. Who is this Mario guy anyway? You talk about him sometimes, but you never tell us why.”

In response, the Count pulled his hat over his eyes dramatically. “He is nothing, merely an obstacle that we must overcome.”

There was a quiet snicker that came from above. Mr. L looked behind him to see Dimentio starting down at the Count with a bemused smile. As usual, his pointed toes floated barely an inch above the surface of his cube. It seemed like a lot more work than just standing like a normal person. Dimentio seemed to have noticed Mr. L staring. His mask turned in the man’s direction and his smile widened slightly. He then gave him a wink and turned back. Mr. L scowled and did the same.  
“Um, yeah, he hasn’t been making too much progress in the desert,” said Nastasia. “It is kind of, well, the desert.”

“He will not get far there. There is a chance that he may not come in time before the Void is released. In fact, he may not come at all.” the Count replied darkly, rubbing his chin in thought.

An unexplainable ache tugged in Mr. L’s stomach. He held his belly, trying to appear natural. Perhaps eating so much haggis wasn’t the best idea he had so far.

“If I may, my Count,” Dimentio spoke. “That it would be wise to get rid of such a nuisance while it is still weak and vulnerable under the scorching sun? After all, there is nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

The Count paused and seemed to consider it. “Is that you volunteering then, demanded Count Bleck?”

“ _Let me at ‘em!_ ” cried out O’Chunks suddenly. He raised his hand high up in the air and bounced on his toes like a toddler. Each bounce send a small tremor through the room. “Let me at ‘em, Count! I’ll show ‘em a poundin’ that will make their mama cry out!” He would have sounded intimidating if he didn’t look like he was asking a teacher for permission to use the bathroom. Even Nastasia smiled at that, but her expression quickly switched back to stoic.  
Count Bleck chuckled. “Alright, O’Chunks, you may be the first to fight these heroes and Mario. Their spirits have already been crushed, so it will be no effort from your part.”

“I’ll show ‘em effort!” O’Chunks hit his fist against the palm of his hand. “‘Tis’ll be as easy as pie, Count!”

Count Bleck smiled at the hulking Scotsman and rested his hands against his scepter. “Excellent, O’Chunks, excellent. You shall be the one to go and defeat the heroes of the Light Prognosticus. Soon we shall have the perfect worlds! BLEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH BLECK!!”

In the middle of his laughter, Mimi suddenly drew up and crossed her arms. “Wait a minute, why can’t I be the first one to fight those guys?” she protested. “I’m so much better at fighting than O’Chunks is!” The Count’s evil expression fell into something resembling confusion.

“Lass, I know yer ready to fight these heroes of light an’ all, but yeh gotta wait until yer a wee bit older,” O’Chunks shook his head. “I doubt ‘em rubies of yers will be able to defeat ‘em.”

The green-skinned girl’s pink cheeks turned red. “Look who’s talking, you dummy!” she clenched her stick-like hands. “You probably don’t even know how to do anything except punch stuff!”

“Mimi, I don’t think-” Nastasia was quickly cut off by Mimi stomping her foot.

“I want to fight the heroes first!” she whined. “Why does O’Chunks get to go and I don’t?”

“Yer not strong enough-”

Smoke seemed to come out of Mimi’s ears. “I’m stronger than you, that’s for sure! I could take out all the heroes without getting a single tear in my dress! That’s why the Count said that _I’m_ the best minion!”

Count Bleck blinked. “I did-?”

“Yer talkin’ out of yer ears, lass! What those heroes need are a good beatin’.” O’Chunks held his fist out for everyone to admire it. “‘Sides, I’m the best minion already. Ye can’t just switch titles like that.”

“No, I’m the best! That’s why I can go fight them myself!” the girl fumed.

“No yeh can’t!”

“Yes I can!”

_“Can’t!”_

_“Can!”_

Mr. L coughed loudly and everyone turned towards him. He adjusted his gloves with a smirk. “I think I have a solution to this problem,” he said. “Clearly, _I_ should be the one to-”

He was quickly drowned out by the protests from both Mimi and O’Chunks before he could finish. They both turned their anger onto him, their voices melting into each other so that their words were indecipherable. Mr. L held up his palms in defeat and took a step back, trying to look innocent but unable to hide the barely concealed grin. Nastasia pinched her nose and grumbled something under her breath.

The Count stared at the bickering minions without a hint of amusement. He suddenly rose into the air and spread his cape out, holding the scepter out in his hand. His eye glowed ember.

“ _That is enough, Count Bleck ordered!_ ” his booming voice cut through the argument like a knife. Mimi and O’Chunks fell silent and stared up at him in shock. Even Dimentio’s smile fell a little. “Count Bleck is disappointed with all of you! The Void will be upon us soon and you are all acting like children. I only choose the best of minions, not ones that fight among each other to compete! We will be obliterating these inferior worlds and creating new, perfect ones in their place and this is how you repay Count Bleck when our goal is so close at hand?”

Mimi and O’Chunks bowed their heads in shame and embarrassment. Mr. L only stared at the Count, his eyes shining with admiration. It was no wonder why he was so feared and respected everywhere he went. Though Mr. L couldn’t recall any specific time when someone had said that, he knew that everyone thought the same way he did. And yet it was he and not they that got this chance of a lifetime to be a part of his master plan.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Dimentio focused on the Count. His mask made it impossible to know what he was really thinking. It smiled subtly towards him. It made Mr. L feel uncomfortable. One day, he’ll find what’s on the other side of it. Mr. L faced the Count.

“Count Bleck, let me-”

“No,” Count Bleck have him a hard stare. “O’Chunks will go. He is the strongest one of you four.” At that, both Mimi and Mr. L erupted into protests while O’Chunks stood with a proud grin on his face. Dimentio stayed silent, but the smile on his mask seemed to widen only slightly.

Nastasia adjusted her glasses. A red light shot out of her eye and enveloped the room for a split second. The two went silent in blank shock. Mr. L rubbed his eyes.  
“Now that you’re willing to behave like adults,” her voice lacked emotion, but the threat loomed clearly over them. “O’Chunks, you can go right now.”

“Righ’!” O’Chunks exclaimed and stomped on the ground, sending a vibrating to every box. A square formed around him and he flipped out. Mimi huffed. “Fine, I’ll just make myself useful then.” she grumbled and flipped out as well.

Dimentio grinned. “My, what a spectacle that was!” he laughed. “I must admit, sometimes simply watching the show can be more entertaining than participating!”  
“You think you’re so much better than us just because you can float!” Mr. L turned towards him and crossed his arms. “You and your stupid mask and your stupid jester face and your stupid-”

“Not to worry, Mr. L, your time to defeat the heroes will come soon enough.” The jester seemed unfazed by the childish insults. “Perhaps you can dance for our amusement again, that would surely open up the Void and plummet the world into darkness.”

Mr. L glared at Dimentio with loathing. He opened his mouth with another loud retort, but the Count interrupted them. “Dimentio. Mr. L. Leave us, ordered Count Bleck.” his monocle gleamed in the darkness.

It seemed like the meeting had come to an end. Mr. L grunted in response, not daring to say anything against the Count, and jumped off of the box. He landed neatly on the ground. Dimentio was still there, observing him. The stupid clown was probably secretly laughing at the fact that he didn’t know how to flip yet. Mr. L scowled and opened the two giant doors, letting him close to a shut behind him.

He knew he had to find a way to fight the heroes, whoever they were. He could probably defeat them easily! The others needed to recognize him as the Count’s greatest minion. Maybe Dimentio would get angry. Mr. L certainly hoped so. He was aching for a fight, though it somehow felt more personal than he would have liked to admit.


End file.
